Progress is Slow & Painful

I've accomplished a lot of things this weekend - nothing all that important or interesting, but necessary.

I did some organizing and some pre-emptive "spring cleaning." The winter is a good time to sift through the crap and figure out what I really need and what needs to go. Lightening my personal load is important because if I decide in a moment's notice that I want to get the heck outta here, I don't want to be burdened with a lot of crap I don't need.

The only way you know what you need is by going through and assessing the value of each item. I am working through the spare bedroom and trying to pare down my collection of newsclippings, which is probably my biggest burden.

Although I haven't made a formal list of new year's resolutions, I have at the forefront of my brain a list of goals and every day I am taking steps closer to accomplishing them. Key words sum them up - cooking, health, fitness, music, persistence, patience.

Today I played a chord on the guitar and I was very excited. It was the "G" chord and it actually sounded right. Awesome. I am kind of disgusted by how long it took me to get to the point where I could play it and for a short time was convinced my fingers must just be too fat, or finger nails too long. Now I have no nails and I played one chord. I am thinking about taking lessons to speed the process a bit. But I guess I am not really in a HURRY. Besides, I need to save my money for "college."

If everything pans out right, next fall I am going to start taking some Digital Media classes at Northeast Wisconsin Technical College. I have a meeting in Green Bay this week with an advisor to talk about their flexible adult programs and payment options. The reality is the journalism industry is a scary place to be and a girl has got to have a backup plan. In another two months my company is doing more layoffs and while I think they are only interested in frying the big fish - you just never know.

Besides that, I really am not crazy about living here. I mean, my house is nice enough, and certainly cheap enough, but I am convinced this area is no place to live if you are a single person. I hate knowing everything has gone to bed by 9 p.m. and the nearest "big" city is a 45 minute drive. Big cities are nice (and this "big city" is small by other people's standards) because there is more stuff to do and more people to meet (under the age of 40).

THis is a nice place to visit, but not a nice place to live if you are me.

Things to look forward too: My sister is coming home from Mexico next weekend for a visit and we are going to paint the town. That will be nice. It's been a long time since I've gone out and danced the night away. Then Sunday we are looking for *the* dress. Her wedding dress, that is. And potentially my bridesmaid's dress. That should be fun.... Ok... probably not. I will try to think positive about this... but the whole thing kind of makes me feel ill.... I am not sure why. I mean, I am happy for her but...still makes me ill....maybe because I have to wear lavendar? Maybe because I have to fly on a plane for her nuptuals? Maybe because she might never move back to the states? Maybe because it makes me revisit my doomed engagement 3 or so years ago? There are lots of reasons why this could potentially make me feel ill and want to drown myself in delicious margaritas and/or apple puckers and journey to the happy land of inhibition. Unfortunately the land of tremendous heartburn often follows quickly behind.

I have decided to get a tattoo. It is just a matter of where and when. I know that this will really make my mom happy. Whenever I have mentioned the "t" word in the past, she has given me a look like I suggested we go drown some puppies: profound horror. It will be a tasteful little piece and I have asked an old friend of mine to draw it for me. He is a pretty good artist and he would take the task seriously. I don't know when this will happen. It will be a great surprise to everyone. Mwah ha ha. Trish, you better support me in this - you have two of them and I don't think you regret them.

So I "cooked" today. I made this tasty strawberry, walnut salad with poppyseed dressing, lettuce and spinach leaves. Yummy yummy. How do you like me now? I am going to try to do more "cooking" this year, as it could potentially be cheaper and healthier than eating other crap... Keep in mind, if I cook one meal once a month, I will be doing more than I have ever done before in my life. That reminds me, I have some eggs I need to hard boil for lunch tomorrow. Go me.

I am also going to try to do a better job of being organized and keeping my house clean - because that is what you are supposed to do. But at the end of the day, living life is still more important to me than shiny countertops and I vow to abandon cleaning when life strikes!